Just How Badly Do You Want It?

Being a pragmatic dreamer; one that has both his head firmly in the clouds and his feet squarely on terra firma, I've long straddled the dual worlds of sensible adulthood (working hard on a respectable career; working towards owning a house; ensuring I'm financially responsible; being a good partner, son, brother and friend; giving back to the world, etc), and starry-eyed schoolboy who really believes that we're born to find out what we love to do on this planet and to just do it, regardless of the potential roadblocks, insurmountable as they sometimes appear to be.

I don't think I'm alone here, right? So, does that mean we have to continue living this in-between limbo between sensible adult and starry-eyed child (and therefore ultimately not succeeding in either role), or can I choose? Can we still function in a world that requires us to be the responsible people that we are, yet focus on what we want to be, do, achieve and experience?

Absolutely! You do not have to focus on things 'as they are' but instead put your energies to 'things as you would like them to be'. Now, on the surface that may seem like wishful denial - but it really isn't. If, as we're continually told that 'what you think about, you bring about', then why not focus on what you desire? The stuff that is happening now - will still exist. I don't have to have my every thought trained on it....because if I do, I'll just perpetuate more of the same straddling!

So, here's the experiment - live today with the respect, commitment and responsibility that it deserves (current circumstances included), but intend something different with your thoughts. Dream brighter, louder, wilder. Feel your mood lift as you think better and better thoughts. After all what's the risk? If nothing changes, then nothing changes, but I'm certain it will.

Push through the fear and ask yourself what you're willing to do to make it happen. Providence will then come knocking on your door. It's knocking on mine...

Let's Bring Back Half-Birthdays!

A little glance at my calendar the other day triggered a long-forgotten memory. I remembered being a young lad who in an effort to grow up as quickly as possible (so I could become an adult and do whatever I liked - if only that were true), I would latch onto any sign that I was getting older.

And so, like many boys and girls my age, I would happily declare to anyone even mildly interested that I was 7 and a quarter, or 11 and a half, and so on.

These days, I am most certainly not in a rush to get older! I happily embrace it but I'm not in a rush, if you get my meaning. However, when I flicked my calendar over and I realized that I was 35 and a quarter, I decided to regress a little and do two things.

One was celebrate! After all, I'll use any excuse, however flimsy, to eat cake or chocolate, watch a favorite film, sing my gratitude for the good stuff in my life...

And two, was look at my goals. What had I accomplished so far? What would I like to achieve between now and my half-birthday three months away? After all, a lot can be accomplished in that time. Add a little extrinsic motivation, say...like a week away with friends at the end of it (which I've booked), and my waning motivation got the shot in the arm that it definitely needed.

So today I went to work, then I finished editing a particularly tricky chapter, before going to the gym. Woo hoo! Although I am cognizant that motivation spurs you on yet commitment gets you to your destination, I am happy for something to have re-calibrated my engine, as it were. Add a cake in there, and I say it's reason to celebrate!

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My Favorite Things!

Who read the title and immediately had a picture of Julie Andrews singing to children who were afraid of a storm? I promise not to do so here. Although an alp or two does make a cameo below.

Along with "Fan Mail," this is another themed entry series I am undertaking that will hopefully add a little variety and a little commentary to this blog.

I thought I would start with a very basic generic list of my faves - at the time of this writing. (Best I add that, since you see, if you ask me in a little while what my favorite of anything is, it might change. In fact it will. My prerogative! ;-)

Favorite Color - Mundane answer: Green - Artistic answer: Glacial Blue, as in the actual color of a glacier. Ethereal and otherworldly - see below
Favorite Animated Movie - How to Train Your Dragon
Favourite Film - Impossible to select - I'm a film addict. Most watched genre? Horror - I like getting scared in the relative comfort and safety of my living room!
Favorite TV Comedy - The Vicar of Dibley
Favorite TV Drama - Currently, it's True Blood
Favorite TV Documentary - The Universe (The History Channel)
Favorite Food - Chocolate (good quality Swiss chocolate is my best friend)
Favorite Book - See above re: Favorite Film
Favorite Hobby - Can eating count as a hobby? No...okay, then dancing
Favorite Gym Class - Zumba: see directly above
Favorite Sport - Tennis
Favourite Season - Winter
Favorite Destination (that I have been to) - Tied between Florence, Italy; Santorini, Greece and Salzburg, Austria
Favorite Destination (that I have yet to visit) - Switzerland. Would love a helicopter ride around the Matterhorn

I'll stop there. I don't want to exhaust all of my favorites in one go. Stay tuned for more (themed) Favorite Things in upcoming entries. And please feel free to share with me some of your absolute faves.

I'm about to raid the pantry for some Lindt chocolate. After all its been an entire hour since my last scoff - gasp! My willpower is truly the stuff of legend...

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The Halfway Mark

We're halfway through 2012... Six months to go before the end of the year (and according to some Mayan theorists, the end of the world. Methinks the world will definitely keep turning past December 21 but I am looking forward to the forthcoming 'human interest' stories at the end of the 6 o'clock news that will no doubt depict people preparing for the end of days in their kitted-up bomb shelters. Zany fun!)

Be that as it may, I thought that since we had reached the halfway mark, I'd commemorate the occasion with a point-check of sorts. Not an exhaustive checklist of resolutions but more of a "so you made a list of goals for 2012...now that the novelty has seriously worn off and we're halfway to the year's end, how are you doing...really?"

So, holding up a mirror (which is never much fun), let's look at the battle scars this year has afflicted thus far.

Being a half-glass full kinda fella, lets begin with the positives...

In no particular order... I am at the midpoint of editing my novel - I've edited and rewritten this manuscript many times, each time chipping more rock away from the gem underneath. I read once that if you think you cannot edit your book anymore, then go over it one final time. This is where I am up to - and I am excited at the results so far; I have just returned from a little 4-day trip to Bali. I had a wonderfully relaxing and rejuvenating time that was much needed; Whilst away I received the mock-up of my author website from my awesome website designer and I got tears in my eyes and goosebumps running up my arms - it signifies another step taken in the direction of my writing career - more on that to come; I am in better shape than I was when the year began - a continuing work in progress; and my new blog is slowly building...to name the stuff that comes straight to mind.

And of course, the not-so positives...

Work is currently exhausting - Since February I've started at a new department and its been a steady menu of studying, lecturing, being critiqued, observed, examined, rinse and repeat. Strangely enough, I am halfway (there's that 50% status bar again) from getting my license and being let loose on the pilot and cabin crew population. Thank goodness for my wonderfully supportive colleagues; Illness has affected those in my immediate family. To respect their privacy, all I will say is that in the last six months diagnoses of cancer, Parkinson's, and spinal surgery/chronic pain has wobbled all our respective orbits; finances are nearly non-existent causing cumulative stress; and my time management skills have ranged from the sublime to the woefully inadequate.

All in all, I am taking stock, relishing the forthcoming opportunities, rededicating myself to my dreams, gratefully living a healthy and loving life, and stepping out to meet these next six months hopefully with a little grace and a little smile on my face.

Who's with me?

The Observer Effect

It is a law of physics that the mere act of observation changes/affects that which is being observed.

There has been many experiments in the field of quantum mechanics - the science of the very small, where it has been proven that the electrons that surround the nucleus of an atom, which are non-local in nature (not in one precise point but rather in a cloud of potentiality) only condense to become local if they are being observed. So in essence they move from potentially being anywhere and everywhere in the orbit of a nucleus to a precise point only if someone is there to watch it.

I hope I haven't made an absolute mess of trying to break down ridiculously complex physics into basic language but I really wanted to post something which is scientific law and relevant to our everyday experience.

There are many examples where this law could be used to illustrate its veracity. I'll use creative license and talk about two such examples.

1. A metaphoric example: Since this blog is partly about living one's dreams, I thought I would attempt to make a link between this immutable law and the act of achieving one's goals. As we continually make lists of things we like to see, do, have, accomplish, experience, etc, we create a field of potentiality; one that we continue to hone, refine, improve upon and so on as time goes by and our life experience builds. It just so happens that the actual achievement of said goal/s only comes when you have kept your attention on it (taking time, effort, opportunity, luck and the other nebulous bits) to bring the dream out of the ether into solid reality. What you think about you bring about we're constantly told...
2.  A literal example: Since this blog is also about the creative endeavor - specifically writing, here is an example where I have personal experience... With writing I have repeatedly come across the advice that you should be careful about showing anyone your writing - whilst it is in its draft stages (the question of 'when is a book truly finished?' will be tackled in a future post). The reason being is that your reader/observer through your invitation will affect your writing through sharing opinion, asking a question, making a comment, omitting a comment, making a facial expression (real or imagined), and on it goes. Sometimes this can be to the benefit of the story and other times to its detriment - but either way, it will change the beast and affect you, the writer. It cannot be any other way. 

Food for thought, no? So keep it in the back of your mind that merely observing something or someone does have a powerful effect. The ramifications are awesome.

Fan Mail #1

A rather random posting on someone I am an unabashed fan of... (I might actually add further postings to this theme from time to time, just for a bit of fun).

Dawn French: the rather marvelous actress, writer, comedian, all-round fabulous woman, who I am a flag-waving fan of. On my only (to this point) trip to London back in 2003, I went to the West End and saw a one-woman play staring Ms. French called 'My Brilliant Divorce.' It was hilarious and heartfelt and remains a wonderful memory.

The reason for my post is that I've just watched a marathon of Dawn's "Vicar of Dibley" episodes - all 20 of them, over the weekend. If you haven't caught this show, please do yourself a favor, go out and buy it! It's English comedy at its best. The creator, Richard Curtis is the talented chap behind Four Weddings and Funeral, Notting Hill, and Love Actually - so if you like those films, I think you'd love this show's take of a female vicar that lands in a quaint, countryside town with the oddest, yet loveliest bunch of characters. I've seen all the episodes countless times and despite knowing what happens - even down to miming the dialogue, it genuinely makes me laugh in a way that few shows (especially on repeat viewing) can.

If I can turn but one person in the direction of this show - and this exceptionally talented woman, I would have done my good deed for the gods of entertainment.
 

The Carousel of Guilt

After posting my last blog - regarding my 'day job' as an Aviation Instructor and the rigors of training, I had hoped to reengage with both my writing and my posting. Perhaps it was naive of me to expect to go full tilt, but I did expect to do more than  I subsequently have = not a thing.

So, my sometime companion, guilt, popped by to torture me softly over what I should be doing, of what should have been done, and what I must now do.

Perhaps it's wisdom in age - another birthday just passed last week, but I thought to myself that this time, this time, I would not let my unwanted mental house-guest to outstay its welcome. And it is welcome, only because it spurs me to activate my situational awareness of my current state - which is healthy, but then it continues on and starts sabotaging my feelings of self-worth and self-esteem, culminating in "I'll never get published at this rate" and the like.

How many fellow writers out there go through the same dance?

The excuses are invariably there - new job is intense, I'm keeping long hours, I'm studying at home to the point of dreaming of airplanes, trying to keep up with my home obligations, squeezing in a life and some sorely needed sleep to name but a few. I could then either hold these reasons up as armor and feel vindicated, or feel forlorn that I've hid behind them and failed to achieve what I set out to do. Both options I have visited.

But not this time.

Simply put, it is what it is, and now I will revisit my time management schedule (I've started keeping one this year, and before the changes at work threw it all asunder, I was kicking goals rather well), and I will take things ONE STEP AT A TIME. Do one thing, followed by the next, and so on.

That is how anything worthwhile gets done (and hopefully done well, with skill and care). I will keep my dreams on an achievable, bite-sized scale, AND I will allow myself to be a multifaceted and flawed human who lives and loves in the real world - with all of its unpredictability.

I call that progress.

I hope by sharing I might help others out there get off the nauseating Carousel of Guilt.

Happy writing!